Pappa Bear

For those of you who know me, you know that when it comes to my daughter I can be an over-protective Papa Bear.  Can't help it, she is my very reason for breathing, keeps  me in check, keeps going down the right path.  She is my "WHY".  If you don't get that reference, look it it up.

So I am writing this with a heavy heart.  Not because, I have done something, or there is something wrong with Becca.  No, I am sad because my daughter wasn't included in something...

Sounds stupid right?

Well maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

Rebecca dances competitively and does a pretty good job of it too.  Is she the best dancer, no.  Is she good?  I think so.

So when I hear that her studio is doing a number for the coming season and she is the only kid that doesn't get asked to join, I am pissed.  Now when it is just us (myself and Pam) who knows about it that's one thing, we can be a little pissed amongst ourselves and that is that, move on.  The problem arises when Rebecca brings it up.  She is "curious" as to why her and her friend Ella are the only two girls from last years comp crew who were not asked.  What makes that even worse is that Ella was asked... Becca doesn't know that and, hopefully, she won't find out.

Is it sour grapes on my part, could be.  But I think we deserve to know why our kid, who dances her heart out for her studio, was passed over.  Are we just there to help pay the bills?  If so please let us know and we will move her back to Rec and save ourselves an ass load of money.  If there is another reason, one that will take the sting out then please, just tell us.  But to not include a 10-year old girl in  a routine that her entire studio is involved in without even telling us why... that plain sucks.....

Where have I gone to?

Hello there, for those who have forgotten, my name is Kevin and I blog... LOL!!

Been a long time since I've done one of these and there are many reasons why, but the main one is really I've had nothing positive to say/report. I have completely stalled out and backed up just a little, luckily just a little!!

I am tired of the program we have been doing. While it works, it is extremely restrictive and VERY expensive, so we stopped getting the supplements a while back and I have come to the realization that I have begun to tune them out. I want to get exercising again and that program isn't designed for that. I need extra carbs to work out and If I have extra carbs I am instantly "cheating", which I do anyways because I am on a program and I am not unlike 99% of people who are on programs I think.

I have come to the realization that I need to do this for myself on my own. I can no longer rely on someone else to do it for me and let's be honest, all the programs out there are nothing but a crutch; something to blame when you don't succeed. Now I know those programs work for many people, but if you don't have the personal fortitude to take control and do it yourself, then when that program ends, and you don't have that crutch anymore, back you go.

I like food, I will admit that. I love to cook!!! I don't see anything wrong with that. I have already gotten to the point where I don't gorge myself anymore. I measure almost everything I eat now, and carb count like a pro because of my insulin pump program. I need to get better about junk food, I know that, but that is a by-product of being on a restrictive program and feeling put-out.

Pam & I played softball together last night and it was awesome. Tonight we are doing something else, maybe pull the bikes out and go for a family ride? I hope so, either way I am making a lovely pasta dinner and then continuing my active streak. I feel 100x better than I have in years and I'm not going back, I'm going further until the journey is complete... hopefully in about 60-years from now. ;)

Softball Season!!

Aaaahhhhhhhhhh, so it begins! Other than getting smoked 28-11, and playing like a retarded monkey at 1st base it felt so good to be back at it. It also didn't hurt that half the team noticed I had slimmed down.... which upon further reflection might be considered a little gay.... LOL!!

I was supposed to workout Thursday as well but i was too sore, so tonight is the night and then golf tomorrow. weight is down a bit this AM so I am positive for tonight and I feel good in an emotional way. Not feeling so frustrated I guess. Short post I know, but I haven't got much to say.

oh and I went 2-4 and was hitting the ball really well Wednesday night, all that BP really helped. ;)

Did it!

well I did it, I managed to get a workout in, which was no mean feat as I was fighting my blood-sugar all afternoon. I did 30 minutes on the Treadmill and then 15 FULL sit-ups and then some kettle weight exercises and then of course stretched.

It felt really good and I am proud of myself. the only negative was that my blood-sugar got low after and I needed to eat something at 10pm, right before bed, which means my weight is up this AM. Oh well, small battles right?

Tonight I have my first ball game of the season, late game of course, but I don't care. Tomorrow I will use the treadmill again and the day after that, and then Saturday I go golfing (first round of the year, it's going to be ugly) and Sunday is a double header in softball so I have a sporty few days ahead of me. I feel like a teenager again!! Without the smoking and chasing girls of course ;)

Will keep you all posted.

Dog Ate My Homework

LOL, see Pam's blog to find out why I didn't workout last night!! :)

And for the record, I understand the concept of listening to John Gabriel at bed, I just can't fall asleep with it going. I have never been one to listen to music to fall asleep and this is more of the same idea for me.

Plus let's be honest, the guy does sound a little douchie.

Stirring the pot ladies, stirring the pot!! LOL!!!

Resetting

Alright, so enough pity-party, lazy asshole, quitter bull-shit. Time to re-up and start over before things get out of hand. I am very close to being in the 21's and all I need to do is recommit to the process and I will get there.

I will fully admit that I am not following the H1 program the way they would like me to, but, I am using that more as a check and balance thing than anything. I don't feel that the diet they want me to follow is really safe for me, so I have been working my own way through it and finding things that work for me while lowering my carb count to a level that I am comfortable at that allows me to lose the weight with out almost passing out if I walk to the mailbox and back.

I know the next step for them will be to "remove" choices and that ain't going to fly with me, so I will use them as an accountability tool and keep doing my own thing and make adjustments as I need to that work for me and my body. Next step is EXERCISE. I am such a lazy prick these days it is stupid. I just can't seem to get my ass off the couch. I know that it will speed up the process but I can't wrap my head around it. I need to exercise early in the evening so I can get to bed at a decent time, so now I just have to do it! Tonight is the night. I am walking on the treadmill and then having a good stretch and then relaxing after Pam is done with her softball.

On that last note, I just want to express how very proud of my wife I am for joining a league. It was a big step for her and I couldn't be happier that she made that choice. It is a tough thing to do, especially when you have never played an organized game in your life. Good work baby, I love you.

Total Funk....

So how long has it been since I have posted on here? No idea? Me either.

I have been in a total funk the last few weeks, I have completely plateaued on my weight loss and have even crept back a little. I AM FRUSTRATED!!! I can't seem to get out of it either. I am trying but nothing seems to work. I will admit that I have had few non-program treats in the last little bit but not to this extent, but maybe my body is being a bitch and holding on for some reason. Whatever.

I need to start exercising. My energy levels are crazy low,and I need to get more sleep. That is so important. It also doesn't help that I have had some weird bug that makes me nauseous and dizzy every once in a while and that has been going on for over 3 weeks now. The only way to feel better? Eat, that's right, have to eat something to feel better, so that ain't helping.

I need to reset and get going again. I have done pretty good to this point and I have to stop being lazy and get moving. Diet will only take it so far, I need to get my lazy ass moving if I want see any results.

Venting done...

I am a strong, independent woman, who doesn't need to smoke..... ;)